Wil is the single parent of two children, now aged 25 and 23 years and is about to be a 'Nan Willy' for the second time. She is a teacher of students with special needs and has written plays for children focusing on caring for our environment. Through 'Magic Learning Lab Pty Ltd', she also produces educational products for pre school children

The WOW Factor!

You know that feeling you get when you realise something magical has happened?  Like seeing that rainbow after a storm, taking that perfect Steve Parish style photograph, catching that perfect wave.  You know, when you can’t find the words so you just… nod. 

Well, that is the feeling I got when I saw that my teens had survive the teen typhoon.   Just as they had outgrown the terrible twos so many years ago, they had now outgrown the testy teens. Noddy, come home.

To be honest, there were times during that ‘IKIA’ (acronym for ‘I Know It All’ and pronounced ick – ee- er) period, when I thought the light at the end of the tunnel had blown out and that there were no matches left on Earth. 

Now, out of the darkness, and lulling on cloud nine, I can finally see the whole picture.

Some teens and tweens pass through this stage easily.  Low impact.  If you are a single parent of one of these, stop reading and go and buy a lottery ticket.  If you are a single parent of an extreme-button-pushing-notice-me-as-I-find-out-who-I-am twix be-tween, read on.

If you are still reading, you can be comforted by the fact that the ‘teens and tweens’ period is actually a normal part of our development.  Yes, our development as a parent.  Our children are our teachers and we must thank them for our learning.

As a ‘foot-in-your-rib-foetus’ your child taught you patience. 
As a ‘feed-on-demand-infant’ your child taught you unconditional love. 
As a ‘two-speed-toddler’ your child taught you to develop discipline. 
As a ‘student-sport-homework-sleepover-party-preteen’ your child taught you to be organised. 
As an ‘I’m- having- an-identity-crisis-teenager your child is teaching you… well whatever it is you still need to learn (as well as how to pull out grey hairs).

Teens and tween’s have a job to do – two if you count teaching us whatever it is we still have to learn.  Teens and tweens have to challenge and they will become very good at it.  They will challenge your boundaries, your values, the law, education, the media, religion, gravity, your love, nutrition, your beliefs, the principles of supply and demand, your morals, the concept of time, co-operation, authority, hygiene, economics, the fly crawling across their plate and even your thoughts.  Yes, my teens regularly informed me, “I know exactly what you are thinking.”  Thank goodness they couldn't’t!  Challenge is a double-edged sword.  Painful, yet think of the alternative.  If they don’t challenge, they run the risk of being your clone.  Heaven forbid!

A single parent has a job to do – two if you count learning whatever it is we still have to learn.  Single parents have to guide their teenager into becoming an independent individual whilst letting them think it was all their doing!   Now there’s a challenge.

At fifty something, I am smugly sitting here nodding. 


Here is an extract from a letter my ‘extreme button pushing ex-teen’ wrote to me after the birth of her own child.